Ashley Waldvogel

I have been a mother for 5 years and 28 days, give or take a few. That is 265 weeks. 1853 days. 44,472 hours. 2,671,200 minutes. 160,272,000 seconds. And for every one of those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years I have been afraid. Afraid of losing this thing that is everything, this thing that is me but so much more than me because I am no longer me at all.

I had no idea. I had no idea that every second of this would be so excruciatingly sweet, so unbelievably painful. And so fleeting.

They are growing and changing and moving so fast and as we spin, spin, spin the time is slipping away. That Tuesday afternoon in the park, pushing swings, seems so mundane and yet . . . now it’s gone and they are running, running, running, kicking and screaming and laughing and the echoes of it are fading even as they still ring in my ears. It has always been this way. Yet before THEM I was so absorbed in the constant of ME that I was blind to the speed of every passing moment.

This is my job: to keep moving. To keep them moving. And yet I do not want to lose a single moment, can’t bear the thought of forgetting. Memory is fickle, mine perhaps more so than most. I know I will not remember it all. I know they will remember even less.

And so I document. I preserve. I make lists and notes and comments. I plan. I encase our memories in protective cocoons and pray that each moment ahead will be as ripe as each one past.

Ashley Waldvogel is a Professor of Foundation Studies at Savannah College of Art & Design. She holds a BFA in Painting and Printmaking from Virginia Commonwealth University and an MFA in Printmaking from Pratt Institute. Her prints, paintings, drawings and mixed media works have been exhibited throughout the United States, including solo exhibitions at Virginia Intermont College, The University of the South, Pittsburg State University, Louisiana State University, and Vanderbilt University. In addition to being an artist, professor, and mother (not necessarily in that order) Ashley is also a designer whose product line has been featured in numerous national publications including O: The Oprah Magazine and People Magazine. Waldvogel lives in Savannah, Georgia with her husband, artist Raymond Gaddy, and their children Fletcher and Lola Gray.